No longer in residence

I should have really posted this before but, better late than never - I've moved the blog to a new address. Actually, it's not new, it's been there before, but whatever. You'll now find it here, and I hope you'll continue to read. Everything looks pretty much the same so you shouldn't have any trouble finding the tea and biscuits. If you're a subscriber, you won't need to do anything, the feed url is the same so updates will continue to appear in your reader. I'll leave this blog in place because there's always a chance I'll want to come back (Blogger is very cosy) and, that's pretty much it.

Expanding on tweets

I'm stuck for something to post about so I'm resorting to expanding on tweets. I shouldn't really have told you that, should I? I could have fibbed and told you all it was a fabulous new idea. Hmm.

"@misfitduck I should post a bit of Marilyn Manson and my thoughts about why nappy changing isn't an interesting topic to blog about lol"

This was part of a thread about me being added to a 'mom bloggers' directory. I couldn't find any videos that weren't low quality bootlegs, so no Manson (aren't you disappointed?) but my point stands! Nappy changing; snot; stomach complaints and painful, gory birth stories just don't make good reading. I can't imagine why, but trust me, they just don't. If your toddler regurgitates his breakfast all over your dog every morning, please don't go into detail about the appearance, texture and smell. It is too much information. Anyone who tells you they do want to know about this stuff is being polite. Really! If they are genuine then they probably aren't the sort of person you want within 500 yards of your blog.

I'm also a bit bemused about being listed in such a place. I'm not a mom blogger; I'm a mum who blogs. There is a difference! In fact, I find the term rather demeaning; it's dismissive. It implies mothers with blogs are all pretty much the same and not very interesting - our heads are too full of thoughts of snot and washing powder obviously.

And having brought the ire of proud mom bloggers down on my head (there are lots of them; they stick together and hunt in packs), I move on to mocking the nicest person in Britain ...

"Yeah, the words smug, self-promoter come to mind. Also, for a while I thought Myleene Klaas was a cleaning product, really."

The first part doesn't apply to Myleene Klaas, but I really did think her name was a brand of cleaning product. This was mostly because I first heard it in the sentence "Ooh, that Myleene Klaas is good", and I assumed it was actually Mylene Class, something a bit like Cilit Bang, but more upmarket. I still think that works, the advertising jingle could be 'My-lene, My-lene, gets your win-dows cl-ean'.

Off to see if there's a blogger protection programme ...







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6 Tips for StumbleUpon Success

This week I discovered I've been using StumbleUpon all wrong. Foolishly, I thought I was doing it right, what with only adding people I know or have something in common with; rarely using the send page feature; stumbling friends pages etc. However, it seems I'm not. There's a new breed of SU user, and these guys rock! I only became aware of them this week, but I wish I'd known sooner. I could have emulated them, and achieved SU nirvana - which I'm sure they have, they're that good! I'm guessing they're enormously popular too because they really understand the idea of community. Anyhoo, I've spent a little time studying their methods, and I'm going to share their secrets with you lucky people - you'll thank me for this, really. So read on to discover how you can become an SU rockstar.

1) Randomly add everyone. Don't bother to check the box in the sidebar to see if you have any common interests, and don't even think of  browsing the pages they've liked. Just add people, in large numbers. They're sure to reciprocate.

2) When you come across a page you like, don't just give it a thumbs up and move on; send it to every single person on your friends list. All of them! They're sure to be fascinated by 22 separate pages of news from your local area even if they happen not to live there. I know I was. It made my day to read about an application for planning permission in some part of Canada I'd never heard of. Please send more.

3) Send all your friends the link to your blog, every day. Make sure you don't accidentally send a post link, make it the main page, that's always better. For special bonus points, add auto-playing music; half a dozen videos and at least 5 flash animations. This is sure to make your blog load slowly and/or freeze their browser. They'll appreciate that.

4) This is a tricky one due to the the terms of service but, if you happen to find anything obscene, gory or just plain icky, do share it. Everyone loves to look at the that stuff. I know I do! My morning isn't complete if  I haven't been nauseated at least once

5) Bombard them with religious and political views they don't agree with. This is important! Always do this. No, they don't have a right to an opinion of their own, and would much prefer to have yours rammed down their throats. You'll probably gain a few converts along the way.

6) Under no circumstances must you ever interact with your new friends (except for the above). Do not respond to messages, especially if the person is asking you to stop sending them crap; that person is just jealous of your superior stumbling skills. Never, ever attempt to stumble their pages, they are there to stumble yours and it really is all about you.

So there you have it. How to be a (complete prat) power user on StumbleUpon.








Currently listening to: Birds, they're very loud for some reason.


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How I Spent the Twitter Maintenance Time

OK, I made this last night, and no one is to laugh! I was a bit bored during the period Twitter was closed for maintenance, and browsing through my image folders I found the advert* above which reminded me of something I'd seen Mexborough (I think). We were driving through and I'm sure I spotted a shop with one of those old-fashioned metal advertising hoardings, this stuck in my mind because you don't see them anymore, they tend to be perspex and chrome nowadays. Anyhoo, inspired by that I took the aforementioned image and turned it into the one below - you might need to click it to see the full-sized version. I admit, it could be better (in the cold light of day) but I'm still quite pleased with it, and with myself. It's the first time I've grungified anything for years - prettifying seems to be more my thing now.

This also made me think about the time I spend on places like Twitter. Of course, it's not wasted, communicating with other people is never a waste, but it does distract me from other things I enjoy doing, and which I might be quite good at if I devoted more time to. I really should do something about that ...

* I don't know where the image came from, but if it's yours let me know and I'll credit you or remove it.






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Great People to Follow on Twitter

I decided I really should write a Twitter recommendation post; after all, the cool kids have all done it and I'd hate to miss the chance to leap onto a bandwagon. However, once I'd decided to do it, I realised it might have been a mistake. It's really quite hard to draw up a definitive list; I was thinking there would be maybe five people, but it grew. And once you do have a list, how do you present it? I suppose the easiest way would be to paste in a list of links, but that's rather pointless, so obviously I had to give some reason why you should follow these people.

Anyhoo, after much deliberation, here is my list, arranged in categories of sorts. The five people at the top get a special mention because (they're my favourites) they've been particularly helpful towards me, said nice things about my blog or because they are the only two people who both read it and actually speak to me on Twitter; the rest of you either being somewhat averse to social networking, and/or to talking to me. Not sure which.

I digress, off you go, follow them all, and look after them!


@liamalexander (blog) - Bio: Guitarist, artist, web designer, teacher, geek
Why you should follow: Charming and supportive, with a wicked sense of humour; posts interesting stuff and discusses diverse but fascinating subjects.

@misfitduck (blog) - Bio: Expat, crash test dummy for the Swedish adult educational system
Why you should follow: Not the most prolific tweeter, but interesting none the less - loved her live-tweeting the US presidential inauguration.

@simonbarker (blog) - Bio: Part-time blogger - Full-time hi-tech gadget fan and as such I run a website all about them!
Why you should follow: One of the nicest people on Twitter, posts interesting links and is very witty.

@VladZablotskyy (blog) - Bio: My name is spelled Заблоцький just in case you wonder.
Why you should follow: Polite, helpful and impressively multi-lingual.

@linnetwoods - Bio: I live aboard a schooner with my man and a cat... I’m a freelance writer and web mangler…
Why you should follow: One of the most active tweeters around, goes above and beyond to interact with her followers.


Brits:

@fotodayz (blog) - Bio: Teaches folk how to capture memories.
Why you should follow: Dorcas is fun, sociable and also a talented photographer.

@billythekid (blog) - Bio: If you follow me I will reciprocate. It's nice to be nice. If you spam me I'll block and tweet the block. It's not nice to spam. Be social!
Why you should follow: Don't be put off by his bio, he's helpful, friendly and a little bit geeky, just doesn't like spammers much.

@justamoochin - Bio: Fondly known as Moochie who smiles ..... can be found most days out on the Marshlands playing in mud xx.
Why you should follow: She's fun, chatty, has a crazy sense of humour.

@LStacey (blog) - Bio: Musician / Geek / Thinker / Blogger / Social Nutjob
Why you should follow: Really nice bloke, despite his rude comments about the north; tweets about interesting subjects.

@scooby867 (blog) - Bio: Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably ! YNWA x
Why you should follow: He's a Liverpool fan and very funny (ha ha, not peculiar).

@ernmander (blog) - Bio: Turning into a vlogger. Time to try some unsafe velocities. Humor will be found here: I also suffer from The Pon-Farr
Why you should follow: Friendly, chatty techy guy who posts interesting stuff. Funny too!


Southern Hemisphere Peeps

@jackyan (blog) - Bio: CEO, Jack Yan & Associates; publisher, Lucire; director, the Medinge Group; co-author and author of branding books; typeface designer; mentor; speaker.
Why you should follow: Interesting and friendly, always has an intelligent opinion to share.

@liamvickery (blog) - Bio: The World's greatest guitarist. Revolutionizing the way you think, one tweet at a time. Come on in and join the party! #hashtagmafia FTW!
Why you should follow: Really nice guy, posts good music and is the greatest guitarist in the world. Come on, you have to!

@Chisstwitt (blog) - Bio: Having a blast in the journey of life, living in Paradise with my lovely husband and three incredible children. I tweet for fun and to share ideas!
Why you should follow: Her bio says it all really; she's fun and posts some interesting stuff.

@rustycharm (blog) - Bio: an online astronaut on helium...currently floating in the Auckland space trying to reconnect in a disconnected world, loves taking the piss outta spam tweets
Why you should follow: Only met him last week, but he's very funny (once again, ha ha, not peculiar)


Writerly Types

@matchesmalone (blog) - Bio: Filmmaker, Magician, Intellectual Humorist, All Around Neat Guy.
Why you should follow: Very active, chatty and helpful.

@hopefulauthor (blog) - Bio: writer,wife mum, woman!
Why you should follow: Friendly and supportive, makes a great effort to interact.







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One more thing ...

I've just been sorting through my browser bookmarks, and came across a few links I'm not entirely sure about, for example: this. Why did I save the link to a site selling plasters in the shape of bacon? I can only assume I planned to buy some, don't ask me why, they don't look like something I'd use. Unless I thought they'd make a Christmas stocking filler gift, probably for someone I'm not very keen on. Or, possibly, I'd decided to take up practical joking*, although that seems very unlikely.

I also came across this. I'm guessing I'd been listening to a tad too much Pearl Jam that day and, filled with Gen X-er angst, was sitting around feeling despondent and whining about the injustice of it all. Actually, the article is quite interesting, in a self-indulgent way. And it is strange to think Curt Cobain would now be 42.

And, this - yeah, I was really going to learn to do that.

Finally, there were some good things too, like this and this, do read them, they're very funny!

That is all!


* Does that work as a verb in that context?






Currently listening to: The Waterboys, not entirely sure why, they're quite annoying.


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Musical Monday: Until It Sleeps by Metallica

Today's song was chosen simply because the title contains the word 'sleep', something I haven't been doing much recently. I'm not really a big Metallica fan, the singer is so off-putting with all his crotch thrusting and posing. Saying that, the video is cool, I do like that.

Any tips for getting to sleep would be appreciated because I've never had this problem before. I know it's mostly due to stuff that's going on in my life, but I also know I'd find that stuff a lot easier to deal with if I wasn't so incredibly tired. And I really am. I lie awake for hours worrying about my son's alarming career choice, about all the decisions I have to make in the next few months - sorry if that is a bit obscure, I can't be any more specific - and feel a little overwhelmed :-(

Last night, I lay awake until 2.20 then got up, made a drink, tinkered with my blog for a bit and finally got back to bed just as the dawn chorus started (about 4am). I then got up at 8. I'm absolutely shattered. Any advice from more experienced insomniacs would be most welcome.





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The social networking dead zone

Weirdly, both Twitter and Friendfeed seem to have spontaneously combusted, or something. It's very dull without them; like living in 2006.






Currently listening to: Oblivious by Aztec Camera

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Wanted: Sane person, must be able to make tea

Photo courtesy of Wikipedia

Via Ria, I found this article in the Independent discussing the link between creativity and mental illness - do read it, it's very interesting! It's not a new idea, but there does now seem to be evidence to back it up, and it made me wonder: if scientists, engineers and creative types are all crazy, what exactly do sane, non-creative people contribute to society? Are they simply there to make cups of tea?

If you think about it, they do get a pretty raw deal. Yes, our entire society may be built around their strange 9-5 ways; no, no one is ever going to ask them when they plan to quit the accountancy thing and get a proper job, but no one ever remembers them either. We all know who Einstein was, but who made his tea, or in his case, probably coffee?

And that is all, I'm very tired :-( 

                                                              
PS: The file name for the photo of Einstein was 'Albert_Einstein_Head_Cleaned_N_Cropped'. Is it me or does that sound positively macabre?





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Musical Monday: Mr Writer & A Tiny Rant

I chose this week's video mostly because the title ties in with the theme of the following post.

Browsing through a few writerly blogs earlier today, I noticed people talking about being commissioned to write up to 20 articles in one day* and found the idea quite incredible. How can someone do that? I don't just mean in practical, time management terms, I mean, how can someone call themselves a writer when they are simply cranking out articles by the dozen? Surely they are little more than human word processors, and no more writers than someone who fries burgers in McDonalds is a chef.

Writing is a craft; it involves skills which must be practiced and developed. It is not about mass production. Of course any literate person can write an article, but that does not make them a writer. Anyone can write a book, that doesn't make them a writer either. To use an example: Tennessee Williams was a writer, Barbara Cartland wrote books.

I admit, I am not the most prolific writer and I suppose my opposition to bulk writing could be simply subconscious envy, but I don't think it is. I strongly believe that what these people are doing is devaluing real writing; they are making it an instant commodity, no different to those aforementioned burgers. They call themselves writers but they really aren't. Real writers labour long and hard over a single piece of work; real writing can rarely be cranked out in 20 minutes (although that can happen on good days); real writers write because they need to, not because they want to! And trust me, most who merely want to give up because it can be a horrible, thankless occupation. At it's worst, it isn't something any sane person would choose to do. It means long hours alone, almost pathological self-criticism and constant rejection. It involves taking your deepest, often darkest thoughts and exposing them to public scrutiny and possible ridicule. There's a reason so many writers are a little bit mad; it's because they're writers.

I read this a little while ago, and one of the comments struck a chord because it described mindset of a writer so aptly:

"An author wakes up with a story burning in their mind and it never goes away, it is an obsession, absolute torture and the only way to relieve the pressure is to get it out of your head. If you aren't like that then you're a crappy writer, simple as that. Without passion there is nothing but words on a page, dull, boring words on a page."

It is an obsession, it can be very much like a form of torture and you do need to have a passion for what you're writing. I find it very hard to believe anyone wakes up with a burning desire to write a dozen blog posts about cheese, or that those posts are going to be anything but filler.

If you happen to be someone who makes a living this way, you may feel disgruntled. That's fair enough, but I'm not going to apologise because you are debasing what I and countless others do. In fact not just what we do, but what we are. You are a content provider not a writer, so please stop calling yourself one.


* If you visit certain freelancing sites you will find plenty of similar jobs usually providing content for blogs that border on spam.






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