You Don't Know What You've Got Till It's Gone

Yesterday, Ally (Ducking for Apples)posted a link to an article in the Independent which examines the gradual dilution of our rights and freedoms here in the UK. Pete (The Quacks of Life) has also picked up on this, and airs his opinion in a very eloquent piece. Not wishing to be repetitive but I am also going to cover the subject because I think it is so important.

Consider this: In the the last nine years we have lost the right to trial by jury; hearsay evidence has been made admissible in court; we no longer have the right to take our protests to our elected and supposedly accountable representatives; it is very likely that compulsory id cards will be introduced after the next election; the government are attempting to push the (all be it modified) Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill through parliament which will reduce the powers of MPs, and give it to unaccountable ministers who will be able to adjust laws at will. A system of unofficial house arrest now exists; and anyone can be placed under an anti social behaviour order (ASBO) for acts which are not necessarily illegal. Tony Blair is also hoping to override the Human Rights Act.

You may be thinking, the girl is off her trolley, none of this applies to me, these are simply measures to protect us from terrorism. If you are then I'm afraid you are wrong. (Well, except for the bit about me being off my trolley) Seriously, these measures do apply to you! Just because they are only used against those suspected of links to certain political or terrorist organisations at the moment, does not mean they will not be used against you, your family, neighbours or friends at some point in the future. In fact it may be sooner than you think:

A 63 year old health visitor from Hull, was electronically tagged and placed under curfew for protesting about the presence of the US listening post at Menwith Hill in Yorkshire. Protests at and against such places have been ongoing for decades now, but it is only this government which has sought to actively remove an individuals right to hold such a protest.

You may not spend your weekends protesting about American installations on British soil, but that does not mean you are immune or safe from falling foul of this new legislation. If you are reading this, then it is logical to assume you are a regular internet user, and, most likely, a blogger too. Suppose, at some point in the future you complain on your blog about the level of taxation in your area, or suggest that your visitors vote for political party A instead of political party B, or write to your MP complaining about some aspect of government policy you are unhappy with. That same government either have, or will soon have, the power to label you an anti-social person; keep tabs on everything you do; confine you to your home with no means of contact with the outside world, or arrest and imprison you without trial.

One of the most worrying aspects of the current situation is our PMs desire to remove the protection of the Human Rights Act. Contrary to what the tabloids and the spin doctors would have us believe this act is not something imposed on us by Brussels, it was a mainly British idea. It came from the European Convention on Human Rights which was thought up by Winston Churchill, drawn up by mostly British lawyers and which was designed to provide Europe wide protection for all people, and to reduce the chances of another despot coming to power as Hitler did in 1930s Germany.

Even more worrying is the fact that when I wrote to my MP about the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill in her response to me she cited the Human Rights Act as something which offered protection against it's possible misuse by politicians. Now, we discover that if our dear leader has his way this protection will be removed.

I hope you have taken a few minutes to read the article Ally linked to, it is long, but interesting, and contains a lot of information I feel we need to know. The quote from Shami Chakrabarti of Liberty stood out for me. She says:

"If you throw live frogs into a pan of boiling water, they will sensibly jump out and save themselves. If you put them in a pan of cold water and gently apply heat until the water boils they will lie in the pan and boil to death. It's like that."

Lets not be like those frogs. We can stand up for and protect our rights and freedoms, and the Mother of Parliaments need not become a Big Brother state. Remember, Hitler did not seize power in a coup! He was elected democratically, then used legislation to further his political ends.

"If you will not fight for the right when you can easily win without bloodshed; if you will not fight when your victory will be sure and not too costly; you may come to the moment when you will have to fight with all the odds against you and only a small chance of survival. There may even be a worse case: you may have to fight when there is no hope of victory, because it is better to perish than to live as slaves." - Winston Churchill

Further Reading and Campaigns:
Save Parliament - opposing the Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill
No2ID – campaigning against id cards and a state database.
Charter 88 - campaign for a fair democracy
Liberty - UK civil liberties and human rights organisation.

Technorati Tags: UK civil liberties, human rights, Legislative and Regulatory Reform Bill, save parliament, id cards, democracy, asbo, mother of parliaments, big brother, Menwith Hill, Human Rights Act, European Convention on Human Rights

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On Holidays, Tennis and Sir Cliff

I have news on the holiday front. We were (not) looking forward to spending our hols in Skegness.This isn't a preferred destination, but it was practical because Number Three Son isn't coming with us this year, and will be left in the care of Sons Number One and Two. As this is a first, I wanted to be nearby in case anything disastrous happened, so Skeggy seemed a good choice because it is only 40 or so miles away. However, it was hard to be enthusiastic about the idea. If you have been you will probably understand, if not, just look at the name, Skegness*, it is very descriptive. However, I mentioned my reservations to Mr Blogs and found he agreed, so after much deliberation we have changed out plans, and will now be going to the Peak District. It is also close, but is so much nicer. The downside is, it will involve camping, in a tent. I'm not a camper. You may remember some time ago in a meme I mentioned my theme song should be the Outdoor Type by the Lemonheads. I have been assured that camping has moved on since I last did it, that was in the 80s so I guess it must have, and that I will be alright. Well as long as no one asks me to light a fire, have a fight or grow a beard.

It's the end of June, and that means it's Wimbledon. The annual tennis tournament during which the population of Britain foolishly ponder the chances of a British player winning, despite the fact none ever do. The last I can remember was Virginia Wade back in the 70s. Maybe there has been another since, I can't recall one, but then I don't pay that much attention to the whole thing. Curiously, even though Wimbledon occurs every year and lasts for at least two weeks, it doesn't arouse the same level of complaints as the World Cup which only happens every four years.

If you think about it, in those four years we get at least eight weeks of Wimbledon, but only 4-5 of the World Cup. Plus, Wimbledon is on all day, on two channels, and for some reason if it rains they show an empty court. How fascinating. If a football match is cancelled due to bad weather it is rescheduled and another programme is shown. Tennis matches last for hours, and it's not unusual for the whole schedule to be put back because one has lasted much longer than expected. On the other hand a football match lasts for ninety minutes, with an extra thirty if it finishes as a draw in the knockout stages.

I am mentioning this because in the last few days I have encountered three people who have complained about the television coverage of the World Cup, but who are thrilled that it's tennis time. Personally, I'm not bothered if people want to watch tennis, we have umpteen channels, so if I want to watch tv I can always find something else. It just seems unfair that some folk complain when one sport is shown then do cartwheels because another is. I suspect that this is at least in part due to an element of snobbery, because football is a working class sport, while tennis is a predominantly middle class one. So, if you are unhappy about the World Cup at least be honest about why you feel that way. Please don't blame the amount of time involved, the coverage of the players - you have Tim 'never gonna win' Henman at least the English football team stand a chance of success - or the fans. Especially not the fans. England fans may be loud and boistrous, but they aren't Cliff Richard.

* To be fair there is a tiny bit of local rivalry involved, having lived in Scarborough for so many years, where we tend to see Skeggy as a poor relation.

Technorati Tags: Holidays, vacations, skegness, the peak district, tennis, football, wimbledon, the world cup, england, tim henman, virginia wade, cliff richard

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Nominate The Rhythmically Talented and Challenged

Good Evening Dear Reader. It has taken me until now to get in front of the computer, so I'm not going to give you the post I intended to, that will have to wait until tomorrow. Instead, I am returning to the subject of the rhythmically challenged.

Pippa, left the following comment in response to my recent bad dancing posts.

“P.S. Other rockers and musicians with no rythm: Axl Rose, George Michael, elton john, Gary Barlow

People with something approaching dancing ability, Elvis, Robbie Williams, Justin Timberlake .. ”

I have to say I agree with her, especially about Axl Rose, the first time I saw him dance, I thought it was a joke. Maybe not about George Michael whom I always thought was quite the groover, but that may just be me. I also can't comment on Justin Timberlake* because I honestly wouldn't recognise the chap if I fell over him. To the list of the rhythmically challenged I would also add Ozzy Osborne whose dance moves consist of a shuffle to the left, followed by a shuffle to the right, then repeat, and Joe Cocker, who simply stood with his legs astride bobbing up and down as though he desperately needed the loo. Oh, and all those crotch grabbing chappies, sorry but holding your genitalia with one hand, whilst waving the other in the air does not constitute dancing.

My suggestions for celebs with moves would be James Brown**, Prince and Madonna. I'm not a fan of any of them, but they can boogy. Also, Michael Hutchence, whom I did like.

So, over to you. Leave a comment and tell us all which celebs you think fell into the deep end of the boogy pool, and which stood on the side waiting for a pair of arm bands. .

* For a long time I thought he made walking boots.

** Mr Blogs and his friends have an expression 'funkier than James Brown's boots' to describe really great music.

Technorati Tags: Bad celebrity dancing, good celebrity dancing, axl rose, george michael, justin timberlake, ozzy osbourne, joe cocker, james brown, prince, madonna, michael hutchence

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2,995 Bloggers Needed

I'm posting this separately because the subject matter doesn't really seem appropriate for the previous post.

This year marks the fifth anniversary of the September 11th attacks in the US, and a blogger called D. Challener Roe has come up with a (literally) unique way of commemorating the lives lost that day. If you would like to find out more, just go here. I think this is a wonderful idea, because it concentrates on each unique individual, remembering that every single one was special and important in their own way.

Technorati Tags: september 11th commemoration, 9/11 rememberance

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Girls Got (No) Rhythm

In two recent posts I have highlighted the rather poor dancing ability of both Roger Daltrey and the tall bloke from the Beach Boys. Last night I remembered an even worse example of bad dancing by a member of my own family. I am referring to the one and (fortunately) only time my brother and I witnessed our Mother's skills or rather the time we discovered she didn't have any.

This hideously embarrassing event occurred in July 1981 on the day of a Royal wedding (Charles and Diana) We lived in one of those rural areas which see any major event or holiday as an excuse for a bun fight (that's a party to folk in other parts) and this was no exception. A day of festivities ensued which culminated in an evening of musical entertainment in a marquee. I was a teenager at the time, and far too cool to even consider dancing to the ensemble who had been hired to churn out hits from the 50s and 60s. So along with several friends I lurked on the side lines, attempting to impress a boy I rather fancied (a scrump in local parlance) by being aloof and pretending he didn't exist. My brother was about nine, and more interested in eating his way through the buffet single handed. My Mother seemed to be content to sit at a table and chat with the neighbours, or at least that is what I thought.

Half an hour into the proceedings, one of my friends let out a gasp of horror and pointed at the dancers. I turned, and saw my Mother's party had left their table and were now twitching and jerking manically, in no way in time to the music. All were bad, but my friend's Father and my Mum were by far the worst. He was doing a little routine I will call 'Poking the Person Behind You in the Eye' which involved keeping the whole body motionless except for the arms which were alternately lifted, bent and thrust over the shoulder with the thumb extended. My Mum's performance I will call ' A Chicken on a Hotplate' This involved hopping from foot to foot while simultaneously flapping the arms. It was a routine that made the Birdy Song dance look positively stylish.

Mortified with embarrassment I glanced across at my brother who was staring with eyes wide, mouth open, in what can only be described as shock. I knew how he felt. The shame of our Mother publicly displaying that she was to rhythm what Margaret Thatcher was to compromise, was quickly replaced with an even more dreadful thought. What if it was genetic?

I should apologise to my Mum for revealing this, but I won't. Revenge is mine!

Oh, and if the title of this post sounds familiar, it is taken from an AC/DC song

Technorati Tags: Roger Daltrey, Beach Boys, Royal Wedding, Charles and Diana, Parents Dancing, the Birdy Song, ac/dc

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My Quest for the Invisible Podiatrist

This morning Number Three Son had an appointment with a podiatrist to see about having an op on his toe. The chap he had to see is based in a medical centre in a nearby town, the appointment was for 9.30, so N3S, myself and Mr Blogs Senior set of at approximately 9.10 assuming the place would be easy to find, and we would be in plenty of time. No such luck. For some reason even though the nearby town is very small, it has several medical centres. (I have no idea why, maybe it is a hotbed of disease, or the locals suffer from mass hypochondria.) The appointment letter informed us that the one we needed to go to was located close to the library.

Guess what? All the medical centres in this town are located near the library. We went to closest, which seemed most likely, and a very polite lady told us, no, this was not where we needed to be. The next one was only about 50 yards away, it seemed pointless to get back in the car, so I ran up, and once again was told I was at the wrong place. I tried the third, wrong again, but this time a helpful, elderly lady in the waiting room suggested trying the one behind the library . . . the one that isn't visible from the road, the one which only local people would know about.

This was the right one, but why on earth couldn't the fool who sent the letter have just said, 'go to the medical centre behind the library'. Is this some bizarre medical worker joke? Do they get some kind of kick out of seeing their patients/patients relatives, sprinting from surgery to surgery? I really do have a feeling they were standing behind the blinds, wetting their pants with laughter every time I ran past, vainly searching for the right medical centre.

Technorati Tags: Doctors, medical centres, surgeries

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Oh No, I've Turned Into My Dad

I'm not actually posting today, it's Sunday, and I feel like doing other things. But, I wanted to say, have a look at the video I posted yesterday. Watch the tall bearded man . . . sorry I don't know his name . . . anyway, watch him, you'll see he starts to get a bit carried away. First he has a little boogie, then he begins to make descriptive hand gestures, this all ends suddenly when he glances to his right and a crestfallen look falls over his face. I have a feeling he caught sight of himself on the studio monitor and realised just how daft he looked.

Technorati Tags: beach boys, good vibrations, dancing like your dad

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An Announcement or Three

Not a long post today (thank goodness I hear you say LOL) I just have a few announcements about things that may, or may not interest you.

Announcement Number One: Thank you to everyone for giving feedback on the new template, I have decided to make the change, and will install it after the World Cup has finished, or sooner depending on England's progress . . . and no cheeky wags saying ok, it'll be Monday LOL The main reason for the delay is that my little flag arrangement won't fit with the new template.

Announcement Number Two: This was inspired by an email from Charlie (Admiral Pooper) in which he mentioned sometimes wishing he had a political blog. I felt the same, and with this in mind, I have decided to set up a new blog as a place I can rant about subjects that don't fit here, or go into more detail than I would here. On the whole this blog has a pretty friendly vibe and I don't want to spoil that, but the new one will allow me to be a bit more controversial. I would like to make it a collaborative effort, something that a team of people can post to, rather than just me. So, if you would like a place to rant, drop me a line and I will send you an invitation once I have finished tinkering. If you would like to keep any rants separate from your main blogging activities, it is ok to use a pseudonym.

Announcement Number Three: Podcasting. I'm a fan. Until recently I didn't even know you could listen to podcasts on a computer, but you can, and there are some great ones available. Anyhow, having listened, I now feel like having a go myself. At the moment, I am still working out how to produce the things, but (fingers crossed) I will figure this out, and then Dear Reader you will have the option of listening to my dulcet tones reading blog posts. You will, of course, still be able to read them if you wish.

Looking to the future I would like to do more with podcasting. I have always liked the idea of working in radio. Years ago, our local radio station advertised for new presenters, and I did consider applying, but chickened out, which I have regretted ever since. Maybe now, thanks to the wonders of the t'internet I will be able to become a broadcaster extraordinaire, well maybe not. LOL It would be fun though.

And that's it for now, but before you go have a listen to one of my favourite songs ever, it's summery too . . .



Technorati Tags: rants, podcasting, beach boys, good vibrations, england, world cup

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Happy Days Are Here Again

The sunshine has returned, hoorah! It didn't look very promising first thing this morning, but it has brightened up wonderfully.

Number Four Son has set of for the first day of his work experience placement. He was actually supposed to start on Monday at a hotel in a nearby village, but that was cancelled at the last minute because the chef he was going to be working with threw a bit of a wobbly and walked out. (That Gordon Ramsay has a lot to answer for, I'm sure chefs never used to be this temperamental.) Instead, he will be spending a week at a department store in town, which he isn't happy about because he has to wear a tie, and also because this job involves working from 9-5, rather then 11-3. I am a bit disappointed too, I was hoping for some free samples from the hotel job, maybe a nice cake or two.

Is anyone else who uses the coComment thingy having a problem with it? I have had to disable it because for the last couple of days it has been refusing to let me post any comments, which rather defeats the object of having it in the first place. I was wondering if this a problem with the service or whether it is something at my end.

Are you happy Dear Reader? Well, you should be, because today is officially the happiest day of the year. It seems a bit silly that someone can decide this based on a scientific formula which can't take account of the personal circumstances of an individuals life, but hey, that's wacky boffins for you. And if you have ever wondered just how the process of happiness works, this page explains it in very simple terms, and also why we feel sad.

Three sisters have had their immaculate conception insurance cover withdrawn because it angered the Catholic Church. The policy was intended to pay out should one of them become the Mother of the new Messiah, thus providing financial compensation to cover the cost of raising the child. Sounds fair enough to me. The Child Support Agency would be faced with a very difficult task if they were called upon to chase God as an absent Father, and it seems very unfair that He should go around impregnating women and then leaving them to shoulder the burden alone. Surely anyone fearing this may happen to them should be entitled to make provision for the future.


Technorati Tags: Gordon Ramsay, coComment, happiness, the happiest day of the year, immaculate conception, immaculate conception insurance policy, virgin birth cover, the new messiah

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Many and Various Things

Where did summer go? It's been dull and overcast for days now, and wet too. Annoyingly, this unpleasant weather began the day after I bought new summer clothes, and some jolly nice sandals. Poo!

This is something I haven't done for a while. The Indie Virus!. This time I chose Jungle Jim, a chap who lives in paradise. Pop over to his blog and read all about his life as a diving instructor. This is especially recommended for northern Europeans, who may wish for a dose of sunshine during the dull winter months, or what passes for summer in these parts. And if you are wondering what the Indie Virus is, go here to find out more.

Mr Blogs paid a visit to the dentist yesterday, and was told that he would need his wisdom teeth removing. The thing is, his wisdom teeth came through nine years ago, all at once, which caused him a lot of pain. Our dentist at the time, gave him two options, he could either have a referral to the dental hospital to have the wisdom teeth removed. Or, as the wisdom teeth were growing straight, he could have the tooth in front of each one removed, which would allow the new tooth space to grow without the pain. He chose the second option because it could be done there and then . . . we lived in Scarborough at the time, and he would have waited a while for the hospital appointment. Anyhow, this solved the problem, the pain went, the wisdom teeth grew, and he had no further trouble. Since then he has seen two other dentists, neither of whom have seen any necessity for the wisdom teeth to be removed. The chap he saw yesterday is new, and announced the need for extractions almost the instant Mr Blogs opened his mouth. Mr Blogs did try to tell the man about the tale of his teeth . . . but he refused to listen. Now, to the point, (yes, there is one) I think he should go somewhere else for a second opinion. Mr Blogs is undecided, he does tend to trust medical people though, where as I tend not to. So, what do you think? Should he go for a second opinion, or trust the dentist?

Have you ever noticed that people in films rarely need to use the toilet and on the few occasions that they do, something really terrible happens to them? A homicidal maniac will burst in and attack them, or strange, flesh eating bugs will crawl out of the sink. Alternatively, they will overhear a conversation and as a result will 'know too much'! Yes, movie toilets are dangerous places. Well, there are many other differences between the film world and the real one, and you can find out about more of them here.

This headline made me chuckle, Nude Worm Tempts World Cup Fans OK, it's actually a serious subject, but I was puzzled by the nude bit. Aren't all worms nude? Or have I missed something? Maybe, there are more advanced worms who have entire wardrobes full of clothes. Maybe, there are worm fashion designers. Perhaps, worms have a whole culture of their very own complete with art, literature, music, film and famous worms such as Andy Wormhole, Katharine Hepworm and JK Wormling.

Now for something to make you think. Try your luck at 3rd World Farmer. The title says it all, it's a game which simulates the realities of life for a farmer in a poor country. Have a go and see how long you last.

I leave you with a song, which reflects how I feel about the current weather. Summertime Blues, performed by The Who. Watch it even if you don't like the song, because you can always have a giggle at Roger Daltrey's dancing. At least, I think he is dancing, there is also a chance that he is fighting off a wasp.



Technorati Tags: summer, summertime blues, the who, roger daltrey, worms, wisdom teeth, dentists, scarborough dentists, films, movies, 3rd World Farmer sim game

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Last Saturday's Post

Hello Dear Reader :-) Todays post is actually the one which should have been posted on Saturday. However, due to technical problems it wasn't to be. I've been unable to use my keyboard and mouse for the last few days because the thingy they plug into has become loose and they weren't connecting to whatever it is they connect to. Mr Blogs has made a temporary repair, but it seems I will need a new whatever it is.

Anyhow, here is Saturdays' post, which covers a subject that made me sit up, and say WTF.

In Spiked, Dr Michael Fitzpatrick examines the governments plans to weigh and measure primary school children as a part of their fight against obesity. Should a fat kid be discovered, his or her parents will be sent a letter notifying them of the fact. (The health department thinking obviously being that any parent stupid enough to have a fat child in the first place will not be capable of realising.)

Clearly, they expect to find many overweight children, after all, as they have told us, there is a national epidemic of obesity. I'm not sure where all these fat kids are hanging out, because I can't say that I have noticed greater numbers of them than there were ten, twenty or thirty years ago. (Maybe, this is really only a problem for politicians children, but they assume we are all the same. Who knows.) The truth is the government don't know where they are either. The reason for the study is to determine how many overweight children there are. Having announced an epidemic, they are only now attempting find out if it truly exists.

Even if there is an obesity epidemic, surely singling individual children out at school is not the best way to deal with it. Not only because of the potential for embarrassment, but also, because using a child's weight at the age of four is hardly a good way of determining their weight at the age of 24. Kids all grow at different rates.

I'm sure we all know of someone who was the tallest pupil in the class for years, only to be overtaken by his classmates as a teenager. Similarly, many teenage girls go through a chubby phase, then blossom into beautiful, curvy women in their twenties. Children are constantly changing, and putting a label on them when still very young will be far more damaging than few extra pounds which will probably be lost anyway. At the age of four a child's biggest worry should be whether to choose the green crayon or the blue one. They shouldn't be made to feel a sense of shame about their appearance, and no matter how much health campaigners, Patricia Hewitt* et al deny that this is what will happen, the truth is, it will.

We already live in a society where young girls feel the need to starve themselves in order to attain an impossible notion of physical beauty. How much worse is this problem going to be if we have a generation coming along who have been told, from the time they were in infant school, that it is important to be sylphlike. That it doesn't matter if your Mum, your Dad, that boy/girl you have a crush on, all say you look wonderful, because they know nothing, only the government and health lobbyists know what is best for you.

The problem is compounded by the language used, obesity epidemic, ticking time bomb (Are they trying to say these kids will explode?) When one hears the word epidemic, one thinks of nasty, infectious diseases, such as the plague. Imagine being a child who hears these terms on the evening news, who is then told they are part of the problem. He or she will then be subject to a programme of weighing and measuring and special diets and exercise regimes, and if the extra weight doesn't come off, it won't be because of hormones or big bones or because they simply are that shape, it will be because of their parents, or because they themselves aren't trying hard enough. Fast forward ten years and you have a child who is a prime candidate for an eating disorder.

If you cast your mind back twenty or thirty years or so, it is easy to see comparisons between the current attitude toward childhood obesity and the, then, attitude towards dyslexia. Children with dyslexia were sent to 'special' schools because they had/were a 'problem'. They were singled out as different, even stigmatised and given the labels of stupid and lazy. Now, they are educated in mainstream schools, given help but treated the same as any other pupil. Instead, it is the chubby boy sitting in the next seat who is being stigmatised, labelled and singled out for special treatment.

I find it worrying that we have a health department who seem to take so much notice of special interest groups and self appointed experts – who usually have a book or product to sell. Although, it is easy to see why they do. Lets face it, they would rather jump on a finger pointing bandwagon, than deal with the real problems within the NHS, which might cost money, and involve a bit of effort on their part.

* For the benefit of readers from other parts of the world, Patricia Hewitt is the UK Health Secretary, and also the possessor of the most patronising voice imaginable. She seems to believe we are a nation of complete morons who must be saved (by her) from ourselves.



Technorati Tags: nhs, patricia hewitt, chilhood obesity, obesity epidemic

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It ain't useless, it's my stuff

Ally has come up with a great meme all about the useless stuff we gather around us. What's that I hear you say? You don't collect useless stuff. Well, good for you! If that is the case read on and sympathise with this lesser mortal. If, on the other hand you are a kindred spirit, who lives in a house full of strange and unnecessary junk, why not have a go yourself, but read my list first :-)

In the lounge we have a brass coal box, it's purely decorative and has never been used for coal (we have a gas fire) instead we fill it with junk, which includes:

• an assortment of defunct computer wires and cables
• a box of scented oils that smell like burnt plastic when used
• a betamax video (we have never owned a player for it)
• a packet of plasters that don't stick
• a small plastic bag containing odd earrings

The kitchen drawer:

• half a dozen packets of seeds which are out of date
• half a tape measure
• a bent screwdriver
• a glasses/spectacles case for glasses I no longer own (converted to contacts)
• a mobile phone cover which doesn't fit anyones' phone
• several more computer wires/cables

The utility room cupboard:

• dozens of carrier bags ( I never throw them away, they may come in handy. Of course I always forget to take any to the supermarket)
• a packet of plaster which has gone lumpy
• a pair of shoes I decided would be 'good for the garden' but which I have never worn
• a box of drill bits for a drill we don't have
• a pot of polish we will never use because it smells like turps
• an circular thing which you use to dry socks indoors, which has lost half it's pegs.

The bookcase by the back door:

The shelves contain about 3 dozen books no one will ever read – amongst the titles are;

• a 1970s road atlas
• a biography of Fred Truman ( no one in the family likes cricket, and if we did we wouldn't like him)
• an almost complete set of Learn German books, not that learning German is useless, just that I know some, and no one else has an interest in learning
• three manuals for printers we no longer own
• three or four books we have other copies of
• several Shaun Hutson books – no one will ever read these, because well – suffice it to say he isn't to our taste.

The cupboard at the bottom of the bookcase includes:

• approximately 300 Amiga games – we haven't owned such a machine since 1996
• a dozen PC games for a child aged 3 – 7 years, no such child lives here, and what is more, due to upgrades/improvements in computer technology these games now run so fast a child would need the reflexes of a cat to play them.

So there you have it, my useless stuff.

Technorati Tags: meme, useless stuff meme

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On Disruptive Hair and Disorganised Binmen

Thanks to everyone for your feedback on the template dilemma. It's very much appreciated!

A lad in York has been told he must sit his GCSE's in a separate room to his peers because he is sporting a World Cup themed hair-do. It seems a bit petty considering he is leaving very soon, and won't be taking part in normal lessons, but I suppose if sensible haircuts are the rule at the school he attends he really shouldn't surprised. However, watching the news last night, I was intrigued to hear a member of the school staff refer to his hair as 'disruptive'. How can hair be disruptive? Is it leaping off his head and teasing other kids? Maybe it sings rude songs about the teachers? My mind is boggled.

I leave you with a song which is dedicated to my local binmen, who seem to have got a bit out of sync with the whole bin collection schedule. They are supposed to come on a Thursday. Despite this, in the last month the schedule has been Friday, Tuesday, Sunday (morning at 8.10) and Tuesday. So, binmen of South Yorkshire, I feel I must ask 'when will I see you again?'



Technorati Tags: boy in trouble for st george cross hair, school rules, bin men, refuse collectors, the three degrees, when will i see you again

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The Choice is Yours

I've been working on a new template for this blog, and it's pretty much finished. The thing is, I'm not sure if I should use it. It's very different to the existing one, maybe too different, and I've been pondering whether to switch for a day or two, or whether I should save it for something else. As I haven't got any further than pondering, I thought I would ask the people who have to look at the thing, in other words you Dear Reader. So, please let me know using the poll below. You can see the existing template (it's the one on this page) The new one is here. Take no notice of the strange gibberish, oh and I know there are a couple of bugs, ignore those too. Just look at the overall apearance, then come back here and cast your vote.

Thank you :-)

A Cautionary Tale of Seagulls That Can't Catch

Number Three Son arrived back from Download safe and well. His adventure went smoothly and there was no need to take Beki up on her offer of assistance in case of emergencies. It was nice to know help was close at hand though. Sons Number One and Two have yet to return, they stayed an extra day, and will be home later.

Today, I am going to tell you a tale which demonstrates why you should never feed seagulls at the seaside. Our story begins in Scarborough, in 1997, it was a Friday, Mr Blogs and I had the day off. We picked Number Five Son up from nursery school, and decided that as it was a nice day, a little breezy, but bright and warm, we would spend an hour or two on the beach. After a while we were all peckish, so we purchased some fish and chips and decided to eat them sitting on the benches at the top of Blands Cliff.

This area of Scarborough is open to sea, there is a lovely view, but it is also very windy. Anyhow, N5S couldn't eat all his chips, so, not wanting good food to go to waste, I decided to feed them to the gulls which were lurking about. As I threw each chip a gull would sweep down and catch it in mid-air, it was quite impressive to see how well they could do this. However, one gull wasn't quite as talented as his friends. When I threw his chip, he missed by miles, embarrassing for him, but worse for me, because at that point a much stronger gust of wind suddenly blew in from the sea, caught the chip and transported it into the pocket of an elderly lady who was sitting on a bench 20 or 30 feet away.

The whole thing seemed to happen in slow motion, and you could see where it was going to end up, but were powerless to do anything to stop it. What was even worse was, the jacket the lady was wearing had 'bought especially for my holiday' written all over it. Anyhow, for some reason she was oblivious to the fact that a greasy, soggy chip had just popped into the pocket of her splendid new garment, and she continued to talk to the man sitting next to her. Did I tell her? Did I heck! Without saying a word, we all got up and walked away as quickly as possible.

This event has become part of family folklore, Mr Blogs and the Bloglets love to tell people about the time I '. . . threw a chip into an old ladies pocket' as though it was a deliberate act. I can assure you it was not, I would never intentionally throw food of any description into anyones pocket. What is more, I do worry about the poor woman. At some point she would have found the chip, and wondered where on earth it came from. What if her family thought she had put it there, and decided she was going a bit peculiar. She could have been packed off to a rest home all because of a random gust of wind and a seagull that couldn't catch.

Saw this on the news this morning poor bear, how undignified. I thought the cat was great though.

Technorati Tags: Scarborough, sea gulls, blands cliff, chips, cat chases bear

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England 1 – 0 Paraguay

It wasn't the most exciting game ever, but we won, so YIPPEE! I do feel that the lack of excitement can be partly blamed on the referee, Marco Rodriguez , who seemed to have got the whistle stuck in his mouth, because he blew it as often as he possibly could, which did breakup the smooth flow of play. He also bore a remarkable resemblance to a vampire, which may explain why he was so against the players nipping to the sidelines to grab a drink of water – obviously he thought they should stick to blood.

Being serious for a moment, considering the high temperature within the stadium during yesterdays match, it was necessary for players to take on extra fluids, and I do think FIFA should make refs aware of this. Of course players must stick to the rules, but no one should be expected to succumb to dehydration for the sake of a game. Alternatively, Sven could have taken a leaf out of Jack Charlton's book, and handed drinks out himself. Charlton even gave them to the opposing team.

picture courtesy of www.ce.cn/

If you are bored with all this football talk, but don't want to be left out, pay a visit to Philippa's blog where you can vote on the ugliest and the hunkiest players, currently and all time. A big thank to Philippa for adding Batigol, a prime example of why football is called the beautiful game.

Technorati Tags: world cup, england versus paraguay, marco rodriguez, jack charlton, batigol, gabriel batistuta

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Phew What a Scorcher

As the Sun might say. The weather is truly glorious here today. I'm a big fan of summer, much better than nasty, cold winter. I know some people struggle in the heat, fortunately, I'm not one of them. I even enjoyed the bizarrely hot summer of 2003. Anyhow, if I disappear for a day or two, I will be out enjoying the sunshine. Let's face it, this is Britain, it will probably be raining on Monday, so I'm going to make the most of it while it lasts.

Especially for all those folk who are wilting in the heat, here are a few things to keep you occupied while you lurk in the shade:

You could join the Church of the Spaghetti Monster.

Or marvel at this wonderful pavement art.

Create your own church sign

Try to emulate Picasso

Boggle your mind with the odd names some people give their offspring

And finally, Bananarama singing Cruel Summer, don't worry, it'll soon be Autumn:



Technorati Tags: summer, sunshine, the sun, 2003 uk heatwave, church of the spaghetti monster, pavement art, church sign generator, mr picassohead, odd baby names, bananarama, cruel summer

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Boogie On Down

Sons Numbers One and Two have just departed for the Download festival. Maybe, they will bump into Beki and her Mum. Number Three Son will be joining them on Saturday, along with a friend from school. They left with strict instructions that must must look after each other, and of course N3S. Especially, N3S who could get lost in a supermarket, so will definitely need watching at a huge festival. Strangely though, I am less worried by this adventure than Number Two Sons recent visit to That London On that occasion he only had an absent minded college lecturer to watch over him. This time, it will be a case of safety in numbers and fortunately, my boys do look after each other. Also, That London is a big place, full of strangers and dangers. In my experience festival go-ers are a pleasant bunch who just want to listen to the music and have a good time. Back in the days when I attended such shin digs, I always made loads of new friends. Never saw most of them again admittedly LOL

The Bloglets are not the only members of the household who are going grooving. Oh no. Next month Mr Blogs and I are going to see Blue Oyster Cult in Nottingham. I haven't seen them before, and to be honest, would have preferred the Red Hot Chili Peppers or Pearl Jam, but never mind. It will be an experience, and they are supposed to be a bit good.

Do you remember the Wrong Guy, the chap who went for an interview at the BBC and was mistaken for a technology expert? And who then proceeded to bluff his way through a live interview, despite knowing nothing about the topic. Well, thanks to ER, I have discovered that he didn't get the job he went for. This seems very unfair considering how well he performed under pressure, and also that he seems like a jolly nice chap. Anyway, if you also think the Beeb should hire him, go here and sign the petition.

If you allow comments on your blog, have you received any odd spam with no links? I have, which is the reason this caught my eye. It's very peculiar – some down to earth types think it is a way of getting around spam filters. Personally, I'm rather drawn to the spying theory. Perhaps, I shouldn't have deleted them. For all I know there may be a 007 type sitting in a park, laptop on knee, desperately scouring the net for instructions from Red Leader.

Technorati Tags: download festival, festivals, blue oyster cult, the wrong guy, wrong guy petition, bbc, linkless spam, spam comments, spies

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Forgetfulness

Just spent the last hour or so, adding RSS feeds to Thunderbird, not only a great email programme, but a feed reader too! Now, it will be really easy for me to keep up with all the blogs I like to read 'cause new posts are downloaded automatically. Yippee!. Oh, and could I ask anyone who doesn't post a link to their feed to consider doing so, it really would make life a lot easier for dizzy, forgetful types, like me.

In all the excitement over the possible coming of the anti-Christ yesterday, one thing was overlooked. It was also the 62nd anniversary of the D-Day landings. I should have remembered this myself, because my Grandfather was involved. He was an engineer and it was his job to help build the pontoon bridges that were needed for tanks and other heavy vehicles to land. For a long time, I didn't really understand how dangerous this was. I assumed it was a pretty straightforward procedure. I was wrong. He and his colleagues actually worked chest deep in water, in the middle of a battlefield. Luckily, he survived in one piece, came home and 24 years later, became my Grandpa, and did a very good job of that too. Many, many others weren't so lucky. I don't believe in the glorification of war, and anyone who does think it romantic and glorious should read Wilfred Owen's poem, Disabled - you need to scroll down a little – but I do feel that it is a shame that such an important event passed by unnoticed. Whatever you may think of war generally, the young men who ran up those beaches did so because they thought it was the right thing to do, and because of their actions during and after the war, my generation grew up in relative peace, and unparalleled prosperity. Conversely, the German soldiers weren't the evil monsters the war films would have us believe, they weren't all Nazis, the average German squaddie was no different to his Allied counterpart. It's a cliché, but they do deserve our respect and to be remembered, although when I see the way things are in the world today, I have a feeling they might wonder why they bothered.

On a lighter note - I think the German national squad are rattled. It seems that this time around they aren't displaying their usual pre-World Cup confidence. How else do you explain the programme that aired on German tv last night, which stated that England will not win because the victory of 1966 has cursed them. The mighty Germany reduced to attempting to discourage the opposition by using superstition. Whatever happened to their superior footballing skills, and professionalism? Maybe Sven has got the team practicing penalties. Incidently, even if that particular goal didn't really go in, the fact is, England would still have won 3-2.

Liked this story – maybe Dan Brown was on to something after all.

Technorati Tags: mozilla thunderbird, d-day, world war 2, world cup, germany, england, world cup 1966, dan brown, japanese christs tomb

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A Devilishly Good Post

Woe to you, oh Earth and Sea,
for the Devil sends the beast with wrath,
because he knows the time is short...
Let him who hath understanding reckon the number of the beast
for it is a human number, its number is Six hundred and sixty six.
– Revelations 13:18

The only bit of the Bible I can quote, and that has more to do with Iron Maiden than anything I was taught at school, and I gather even this isn't accurate. Anyhow, it is widely believed to refer to the six day of the sixth month of the sixth year. Or, 06/06/06, today's date. Actually, this isn't accurate either. Our ways of calculating the passing of time have changed since biblical days, and using their schedule 06/06/06 would actually have occurred in the year we called 2002. Also, the numbers aren't supposed to refer to the anti-Christ at all, but to the Roman empire, which spent a great deal of it's time persecuting Christians. So now you know. And here to thrill and delight you is a little selection of spooky and devilish trivia.

Fear of the number 666 is known as hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia

Meon Hill, near Stratford on Avon, is reputed to have come into existence when Old Nick attempted to destroy Evesham Abbey by hurling a huge boulder at it. However, his aim was off, and the rock landed several miles short, producing the hill which has a pretty spooky history!

A similar tale exists about Silbury Hill. Apparently the Devil wished to destroy Marlborough, but was distracted and dropped a big pile of rocks in the area of Silbury. He may be the ultimate evil but he's a bit crap at throwing isn't he?

They say the Devil has all the best tunes. This is linked to the belief that Lucifer was cast out of Heaven for playing musical instruments – the human voice and bells being the only sacred forms of music. I wonder if church organists realise they are actually in league with Satan?

The word Satan actually means adversary. There are at least 57 other names for him.

A Tasmanian Devil is not actually demonic, it is really a marsupial, similar in appearance to a large weasel. They are supposed to be quite bad tempered though.

On the other hand, the Jersey Devil is supposed to have spooky origins.

Cutting your toe nails on a Sunday is a bad idea because the Devil will chase you. I have no idea why. However, you will be able to get rid of him by flinging a handful of salt over your shoulder.

When removing your shoes, always place them with them with left one on the left, and right on the right. Otherwise, the Devil will inflict serious bad luck on you. For the same reason, you must never allow knives to cross. So, not only is the big evil dude a crap throw, he is also suffering from OCD.

A northerly facing door in a church is known as a Devils door. Very few churches actually have this feature, and of the ones that did most have now been bricked up. Christians believed this was a way for Satan to enter a church. However, the practice of entering a sacred building from the north is more likely to have it's roots in Paganism.

Suggested listening for today: Number of the Beast – Iron Maiden, Sympathy for the Devil – The Rolling Stones, Running with the Devil – Van Halen, Devil Inside - INXS

Finally, want to know how evil you are? Try this quiz:


How evil are you?

Technorati Tags: hexakosioihexekontahexaphobia, 666, the devil, satan, superstitions, folklore

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Ode to Bill Gates, Ten Films I Hated

Well, Dear Reader, the meter man never arrived. It seems he was never meant to. He was, in fact, supposed to go to a house around the corner. This isn't an unusual event. The road we live on shares a name with a close which is nearby. To make things even more confusing, our house isn't actually on the road it is supposed to be. We are located on a lane around the corner. Yes, I know, this is very odd, and I have no idea why it is so. However, because of this we constantly receive other peoples mail, pizzas and meter readers.

Over the last few days, I have been working on a new template for the blog. It looks really great if I say so myself. Well, that is as long as you view it in Firefox, in IE it all goes horribly wrong. I have posted about cross browser compatibility, or the lack of, before. This time, rather than ranting on about the whole situation, I decided to write a little poem for Bill Gates, it's not great, but I'm no poet. Anyhow, here it is:

Dear Mr Gates,
We shall never be mates
Because your browser is a bit
Like a thing that rhymes with hit

And now, at the request of Steg, my list of the ten worst films I have ever seen. I know some of the movies listed are quite popular, so if one of them happens to be a favourite of yours, please remember film is a subjective medium and what works for one person doesn't work for another.

1. Hotel - truly dreadful. Pretentious, boring and self indulgent.
2. Spielberg’s War of the Worlds - read my review here
3. Exorcist 2 - The Heretic - Terrible sequel to the Exorcist, starring Richard Burton for reasons I can not fathom.
4. Rita, Sue and Bob Too - Described as a realistic reflection of Yorkshire life, but it’s not. Full of the most god awful people imaginable, all behaving like complete chavs/trevs. Yes, there may be folk like this, but thankfully, I don’t know them.
5. Destiny Turns on the Radio - Bizarre piffle starring Quentin Tarantino as a Christ-like figure demonstrating why he should stick to directing. He is ok in From Dusk Till Dawn, but the cast is much stronger.
6. Deep Blue Sea - Samuel L Jackson is listed as a star of this film, he is actually only in it for a short time. The plot is ridiculous, and features some half baked macho man who rides around on the backs of sharks.
7. Deadringers - Jeremy Irons in twin themed horror film. This take ages to get going, and when it does you wonder why it bothered.
8. Braveheart - Mel Gibson as William Wallace, (although coming across more like Mel Gibson) battles the English in a film which takes enormous liberties with history. For a better Scots rebellion film see Liam Neeson in Rob Roy
9. The Blues Brothers - I know this is enormously popular, but I hated every last minute of it.
10. Rocky Horror Picture Show - Don’t like this either, I really wanted to, but I found it seriously annoying. The truth is I hate musicals, I know a lot of people like them, and that is their prerogative. With a few exceptions I hate them. I find the whole concept of people suddenly bursting into song irritating beyond belief.
.

Technorati Tags: internet explorer, browser compatibility, bill gates, bad films, lousy movies

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The Sunday Trumpet - War of the Worlds

I decided to review Spielberg's War of the Worlds, even though I realise someone may already have beaten me to it. Firstly, because I disliked this film so much that if I was asked to compile a list of the ten worst films I have ever seen, WOTW would be at number two. Also, hopefully, another bad review will serve as a warning to anyone who hasn't yet seen, don't waste your money renting this one out. Really, it would be cheaper and more fun if you stayed at home and watched paint dry. OK, on with my review . . .

I'm sure I don't need to explain the plot of War of the Worlds to you. The Spielberg version does keep some elements of the original story but differs in many ways. This tale is based around divorced father, Ray Ferrier (Tom Cruise) and his children, sulky teenager, Robbie (Justin Chatwin) and cute little moppet, Rachel (Dakota Fanning). Spielberg usually tends to portray highly idealised families, and initially it did seem that he had decided to steer away from this cliché with the Ferriers, who were ever so slightly dysfunctional. Along come the aliens, killing everyone in their path, and forcing Ferrier to take responsibility for his family, something he has been reluctant to do in the past. At first, the plot sounds quite interesting. A modern twist on an old classic. However, this is a Spielberg movie starring Tom Cruise, and it simply doesn't work.

Spielberg is a good director, Jaws and Schindler's List are evidence of this, but his later work has been formulaic and plastic. The movie equivalent of fast food. WOTW is no exception. Cruise is not a good actor, he isn't even a mediocre actor. He simply can't act. Instead, he resorts to ridiculous displays of yelling and arm waving, and in WOTW he does this with boring regularity. Casting him as the lead in such a high profile and much anticipated movie was a mistake. On the other hand, Spielberg does excel at special effects films, and this is one area where WOTW actually works. In fact, the digitally created tripods are far more believable than the leading man.

As the film progressed I found myself comparing it to Independence Day (1996) which is often labelled a War of the Worlds remake, and which is everything Spielberg's WOTW is not. It has thrills, pace, likeable characters, even a little humour. At no point in this WOTW did I ever feel a sense of a global threat, it was very easy to believe these events were only affecting a small area of one country. In addition, it was hard to feel any empathy for the characters, I just didn't like them. With the exception of Chatwin, who did do a good job with a limited role, the main protagonists were annoying and unbelievable. Cruise is not convincing as an 'Everyman' and Dakota Fanning, may be cute, but her constant and repetitive screeching became tiresome after a very short time. Within half an hour, I was cheering on the aliens desperately hoping they would dispatch Cruise and his irritating offspring, in the process saving me from another ninety minutes of watching them destroy one of the classic novels of the Twentieth century.

Anyone who has ever seen the 1953 version of War of the Worlds will remember the final scenes, when the invading alien hordes are defeated by a tiny bacteria. WOTW 2005 ends in a similar fashion, except, this time, some how, all the impact has been lost. The point at which the characters realise they can win, they can save the human race from extinction, lacks any drama or poignancy. Cruise announces the discovery with the sort casual, dismissive attitude that one might use after unblocking a sink.

And, of course, this is a Spielberg film, so the grande finale is chock full of cheese and phony sentimentality. Having managed to misplace one of his children en route, the Ferrier family are reunited, which is a cue for lots of elevator music, misty eyes, meaningless looks and a hint that Ferrier and his estranged wife may be reunited. Pass the sick bucket please.

Technorati Tags: steven spielberg, war of the worlds, tom cruise, independence day

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This is a Nekkid Lady Free Zone

I'm currently waiting in for a man to come and read our meters. He was supposed to come yesterday, so I waited in all morning, Number Two Son sat in all afternoon. He didn't show. Apparently, he will be here some time today. For his sake I hope so, because I'm not spending another day twiddling my thumbs waiting for him to deign to appear. It's particularly unfair, because it is the school hols and we all have better things to do.

On a more pleasant note, I have been watching BBC's Springwatch programme, missed last nights, but that ok, because I can catch up on the website. I find this stuff truly fascinating. I'm lucky enough to live in an area with lots of wildlife, but generally I see these creatures from a distance, it's wonderful to discover what they get up to when we aren't looking.

Thanks to Joss for sharing this tale of an online deal gone wrong. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or shudder when I saw all those pictures of womens' legs. What a strange man this Amir character is.

Talking of strange characters, I was looking at the blog stats, and I noticed I had received a visit from someone searching for 'hot naked chick pics' I should imagine they were very disappointed when they got here and discovered there were no nekkid ladies, just me rambling on LOL I wonder if they spent a minute or two staring at my profile pic, hoping it was animated and I did in fact, get my kit off. Sorry to disappoint you, strange pervy person, I live in Yorkshire, it's far too cold for nekkidness here. Why do you think my pic is blue, it's not a graphical effect, I am that colour.

Technorati Tags: meter readers, dodgy deals, springwatch, strange search terms

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